Moving Forward

It has been awhile since I have posted here. We have signed a contract with our guys and got all the legal stuff out of the way. M and I went to Houston for our psychological appt and that was an easy process. We also met with the guys and had a group session to make sure we all are on the same page. We all are, which we already knew. lol
Then off to the clinic to check and make sure my uterus is what it needs to be. After a small procedure, the dr said my uterus looks perfect. Who knew I had a perfect uterus? lol

So now we are just waiting for the egg donor and we will be starting the process in the next month or two. It seems like forever ago we met the guys and decided to do this. We all are ready to get started!

M and I have also told all of his family. Luckily, it all went well. I was a tad nervous when it came to certain people but I know we have the love and support of all of them. Especially, when we tell them about our guys.

We can't say enough about them. They are just awesome! For example, they knew we would have a long day when we drove out to Houston. They took the day off, took us to a great lunch and stayed with Mike so he would have company while I was in my appointment. They didn't have to do any if that but they did. It just shows you how amazing they are! :)

When I sat down with them back in October, after less then 5 minutes, I knew they were "the ones". I called M on the way home and told him: They are perfect! I couldn't have picked anyone better then them. When M met them a couple weeks later, both him and H felt the same way.

It was a huge coincidence that we were put together in the first place. I had just been dealing with the crazy Russian woman who wanted me to have her child. M and I decided to run and fast, away from her. The day I called the agency to tell her I just couldn't do it with her, the guys had called to say they were ready to start the process. They had talked to the agency a year ago but hadn't really moved forward. So I would like to believe there was a bigger reason all the other happened so we could be doing this together. We all are super excitied to start this amazing journey!

Surrogates?

Surrogacy or Surrogate means substitute. In medical terminology, surrogacy indicates an arrangement whereby a woman agrees to undergo the pregnancy, labor, and delivery for another individual who either cannot or chooses not to.

When I think of surrogate, I picture the chic in Baby Mama. Pigtails and peeing in a bathroom sink. Thank you film industry! I then being to look into it more because I wanted to know more. I met a woman a few years back that has done it twice and she shared her experiences with me.

When I was an egg donor, I learned about the reality of infertility. I, like many, believed that it only was something that happened to women in their forties because they just waited too long. Or it was caused by medical issues. Boy, was I wrong! Infertility is going strong among us and it shows no mercy to people, no matter what age, race or gender.

As I reached my thirties, I begun to see the reality of it. I easily got pregnant with Hunter when I was 24..it took a total of 2 months of trying. But as I saw friends and family trying to have their own families we saw the pain. The pain of losing sweet, perfect babies. The hurt of trying so hard, spending so much money and coming up short of the dream of a baby. I have heard them blame themselves and their bodies for the failures of this.

There are no words to comfort them, for their loss is so great what can you really say to them? But you feel the guilt on yourself. The guilt of having a happy, healthy child that took two months to create.

After talking to M, for two years, we decided that we have a plan to help people in a situation where they couldn't have a child on their own. I am going to be a surrogate. We met with one couple and it turned out to be a disaster. Now onto couple #2..

We love them! I will just call them "my guys" for now. When I first met them I knew that I was meant to help them. M and H have also met them and love them as much as I do. They are both amazing..I know the child(ren) they have with be so lucky. I feel truly blessed to be "chosen" by them.

We have told a few friends and a few family members but I am not going into full detail until the full process starts in a few months. Almost everyone I have told has been supportive and it has happily surprised me. I have run into a person or two that has just torn me apart for doing this.

As a mother, I can't live without my H. I honestly don't know how I lived without him before he was born. When I look at him, I see the future, new hopes and dreams. I see my smile, my husbands eyes, his grandmas chin when I look at his face. I listen to him tell me of all the new amazing things he is learning. I see compassion for things we adults look past. The world is new again because of him. I wonder if he really will be a Hollywood movie producer and make all the movies he talks about.

Of course, being a parent also causes heartbreak. Heartbreak when they have a bad day, their dreams fall apart, or just the fact they no longer need you like they use to. But in the end my long legged, handsome H is still his mommy and daddy's baby. Not being to able to have him or have a chance at having him would be hell. We would hope that someone would want to help us if we couldn't have him on our own.

That's why I want to be a surrogate..So now when I think of who in the world would be a surrogate? I think, why me of course! I will be sporting pigtails but no peeing in a sink! :)

*If you are reading this, I have hand picked you to read this and would like to keep it all off facebook. We haven't told all of our family/friends yet until the process gets underway.

November is National Alzheimers Month

Alzheimers does not just affect the person with the disease but yet everyone in the family that is involved. Please take a moment and donate to the Alzheimers Assocation. If we all pitch in help, maybe someday there will be a cure for this horriable disease that affects so many.

We have watched mom slowly turn into a shell of what she once was. In the beginning, we saw glimpses of who she was. There are no more glimpses...if she remembers our names it makes us happy.

We watch dad, take care of her. He is amazing with her and he does whatever he can for her. He tries to do it all and at times does. If only he would take the help that our family tries to give him. As a caregiver, he neglects himself againest the pleas of all of us.

Let's hope that one day their will be a cure.

The Alzheimer Prayer
Author Unknown
Please grant my visitors tolerance for my confusion,
Forgiveness for my irrationality and the strength
To walk with me into the mist of memory
My world has become.

Please let them take my hand and stay awhile,
Even though I seem unaware of their presence.

Help them to know how their strength
And loving care will drift slowly
Into the days to come just when I need it most.

Let them know when I don't recognize them
That I will. . . I will.
Keep their hearts free from sorrow for me,
For my sorrow, when it comes,
Only lasts a moment, then it's gone.

And finally, please let them know,
How very much their visits mean,
How even through this relentless mystery,
I can still feel their love.

A moment of Change

As we welcome Obama as our new president. I can't help but be excitied! Even if you weren't aboard with him, there is a magic to his words. When he speaks, you stop and listen to what he has to say. In all my life, I have never been moved be a president. I have liked this one or that but never moved.

Never moved to vote. Never moved to care enough to listen to what they had to say. I am moved by the greatness of this man. I am moved by his words and his promises. I know that not all promises will be kept. I believe in Obama and our America.

Even Hunter picked him to vote at his school. Maybe children know more than we think. As I ran my errands today, I looked around. Everyone seems happier and ready for the future. I think this may have been the change that we need. Thank you America for being the great country you are!

I am very proud to be an American!

Fall time

It is officially fall but yet it still is hotter than everything! Its sad that Texas doesn't have seasons. I miss the east. Where the leaves change those beautiful bright colors and they fall to the ground. The air is crisp and cool. I miss all the festivals that come with the season.

Someday I will experience the sweet fall again.

Sept 11th

Please take a moment to remember the horrific events of this day. Of all the brave and innocent souls lost we will always remember you.

Are you kidding me?

So I ususally don't complain about things in my life because I think its not that pro active. But today I must! So H was sick so I went to pick him up from school. Poor pumpkin has the flu...So of course he was sick a few times in the car, no big deal. I cleaned him, the car and got him all cozy.
M came home from work so I can go to my class. By the time I get home from school, I am not feeling well...So I had asked M earlier that we need to get crackers and ginger ale. They were both asleep so I went to lay down. Mind you it was in the high 90s today and I was dressed in a sweatshirt and sweatpants.
When I get up I asked M if he called his parents like I asked, no he didn't. Or did he get the stuff for our sick boy. I asked if he could go get stuff....his response was No, I have to bowl. WTF? You have to bowl?
And he didn't give H the bucket to throw up in so he threw up everywhere. Which I don't care about H doing that BUT if M had just done what he was suppose to it wouldn't have happened.
The kicker is M doesn't get why I am pissed at him! GRRR!