Surrogacy or Surrogate means substitute. In medical terminology, surrogacy indicates an arrangement whereby a woman agrees to undergo the pregnancy, labor, and delivery for another individual who either cannot or chooses not to.
When I think of surrogate, I picture the chic in Baby Mama. Pigtails and peeing in a bathroom sink. Thank you film industry! I then being to look into it more because I wanted to know more. I met a woman a few years back that has done it twice and she shared her experiences with me.
When I was an egg donor, I learned about the reality of infertility. I, like many, believed that it only was something that happened to women in their forties because they just waited too long. Or it was caused by medical issues. Boy, was I wrong! Infertility is going strong among us and it shows no mercy to people, no matter what age, race or gender.
As I reached my thirties, I begun to see the reality of it. I easily got pregnant with Hunter when I was 24..it took a total of 2 months of trying. But as I saw friends and family trying to have their own families we saw the pain. The pain of losing sweet, perfect babies. The hurt of trying so hard, spending so much money and coming up short of the dream of a baby. I have heard them blame themselves and their bodies for the failures of this.
There are no words to comfort them, for their loss is so great what can you really say to them? But you feel the guilt on yourself. The guilt of having a happy, healthy child that took two months to create.
After talking to M, for two years, we decided that we have a plan to help people in a situation where they couldn't have a child on their own. I am going to be a surrogate. We met with one couple and it turned out to be a disaster. Now onto couple #2..
We love them! I will just call them "my guys" for now. When I first met them I knew that I was meant to help them. M and H have also met them and love them as much as I do. They are both amazing..I know the child(ren) they have with be so lucky. I feel truly blessed to be "chosen" by them.
We have told a few friends and a few family members but I am not going into full detail until the full process starts in a few months. Almost everyone I have told has been supportive and it has happily surprised me. I have run into a person or two that has just torn me apart for doing this.
As a mother, I can't live without my H. I honestly don't know how I lived without him before he was born. When I look at him, I see the future, new hopes and dreams. I see my smile, my husbands eyes, his grandmas chin when I look at his face. I listen to him tell me of all the new amazing things he is learning. I see compassion for things we adults look past. The world is new again because of him. I wonder if he really will be a Hollywood movie producer and make all the movies he talks about.
Of course, being a parent also causes heartbreak. Heartbreak when they have a bad day, their dreams fall apart, or just the fact they no longer need you like they use to. But in the end my long legged, handsome H is still his mommy and daddy's baby. Not being to able to have him or have a chance at having him would be hell. We would hope that someone would want to help us if we couldn't have him on our own.
That's why I want to be a surrogate..So now when I think of who in the world would be a surrogate? I think, why me of course! I will be sporting pigtails but no peeing in a sink! :)
*If you are reading this, I have hand picked you to read this and would like to keep it all off facebook. We haven't told all of our family/friends yet until the process gets underway.
